I have a list a mile long of need-to-do, and should-do, and want-to-do.... and down at the bottom, I am ashamed to say, is my walk with God.
What's a girl to do?
It's really hard to hear what God is saying when I am running in too many directions. Just like I have forced myself to make time for me by eating right and exercising, I need to force myself to make time for God. While these are all noble things, I need to look deep in my heart and have a stern talking with my teenage self. I can try and convince myself that by taking better care of myself I am praising God, but let's be real, I am doing it for very selfish reasons. I want to live longer and look better. Neither of these reasons are rooted in God and what God wants for me. For all I know, God wants me to be the weight I am and look the way I do. How would I know? I don't take the time to ask Him. And the times that I have, I would have to be honest and say that I probably didn't take the time to listen for His answer. And if He gave me an answer I didn't like, I can assure you, my pride got in the way and I did exactly what I wanted to do.
Before I can go any further on this journey I need to be honest with myself and put God first. I need to stop doing things for God and start being with God. I can't be the only one with this problem? Do you struggle with it as well? What do you find yourself doing rather than being?
So, ready or not, here I go. Now for me to narrow down to just one book to help me guide my way!
