Thursday, June 13, 2013

Sometimes it's just hard to sit down and BE.

I have a list a mile long of need-to-do, and should-do, and want-to-do.... and down at the bottom, I am ashamed to say, is my walk with God.

What's a girl to do?

It's really hard to hear what God is saying when I am running in too many directions.  Just like I have forced myself to make time for me by eating right and exercising, I need to force myself to make time for God.  While these are all noble things, I need to look deep in my heart and have a stern talking with my teenage self.  I can try and convince myself that by taking better care of myself I am praising God, but let's be real, I am doing it for very selfish reasons.  I want to live longer and look better.  Neither of these reasons are rooted in God and what God wants for me.  For all I know, God wants me to be the weight I am and look the way I do.  How would I know? I don't take the time to ask Him.  And the times that I have, I would have to be honest and say that I probably didn't take the time to listen for His answer.  And if He gave me an answer I didn't like, I can assure you, my pride got in the way and I did exactly what I wanted to do.

Before I can go any further on this journey I need to be honest with myself and put God first.  I need to stop doing things for God and start being with God.  I can't be the only one with this problem?  Do you struggle with it as well?  What do you find yourself doing rather than being?

So, ready or not, here I go.  Now for me to narrow down to just one book to help me guide my way!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Can I Nurture my Mustard Seed?

I find myself asking this question more and more.  Right now I am in a quiet period in my walk with God.  It's eerie and disturbing because during the darkest periods of my life I have heard God's voice and felt His comfort, but for the longest time (strangely, when things are mostly sunshine and roses) He has been oddly silent.  With ONE exception, to get out and be a voice for Him.  Very odd.  How can I be a voice if I don't hear Him?  So, with my little mustard seed, I am stepping out in faith to listen to the only thing that I have heard Him say in a long time.  And this blog is going to be it.

Will you join me as I struggle to hold onto my little mustard seed?