Wednesday, January 29, 2014

M2C OBS Week 2: Anxiety (1Peter 5:7-8)

1Peter 5:7-8
Cast all your anxieties to the Lord.  All of them.  Every last one! YIKES!

I always struggle with this. Not because I don’t think God can handle them, but because I think I can handle them.  If I sat here and made a list of what I become anxious over, I would never get this done.  One thing leads to the next, which leads to the next, until my life is overcome with anxiety over things that I have no control over, and it robs me of the glorious things happening right now.

I find it ironic that I get anxious over things that should be good for me.  Last Thursday, I had already told my sweet hubby that I wanted to get on Face Book so that I could participate live on the M2C OBS.  And he supported it 100%. Then life happened.  Extra kids ended up at our house, dinner was NOT being made as planned, Hubby was late getting home, and I was tired.  The result was me running around getting nothing accomplished while yelling at everyone that dared to enter the kitchen.  I wanted to get everything done so I could get to my M2C OBS!  Do you see the irony here?  I was ready to hurt the people right there next to me, who love and care for me, because I was anxious about making it on time… to a Bible study.

What should have I done?  Slowed down for 30 seconds, said a breath-prayer and asked God to calm my fears.  I was afraid that if I missed the OBS, I would be behind, that I would disappoint people.  Looking back, how foolish I was to mistreat my family.  No one would have been disappointed.  I wouldn’t be behind. The end result was that Hubby walked up to me and asked what was wrong. He took the dish towel from my hands and told me to go do my M2C OBS.  And I did…

I have the same anxiety behind having a healthier life.  I am not saying I am on a diet; this is a permanent lifestyle that I need to adapt and embrace. And I have anxiety over food. Daily. Is this food good for me, how much of it should I eat, when should I eat?  Then add into the exercising. UGH. But God wants to share in the burden that this is for me.  This fight. My fears over being overweight forever.  So I need to give it all to Him.  He has the strength that I don’t have alone. Be alert and of sober mind. I need to be aware of when anxiety over food is overtaking me. It doesn’t help, in fact it makes it worse.  I end up racing for the bag of peanut butter M&M’s.  Rather than reaching for food, I need to remember to give it to God through prayer.

Lord, help me to reach out to you when I am anxious over the changes I am embracing.  Help alleviate my fears of failure and the long battle that I have ahead.  I know that this is not an overnight change, and it may take a lifetime for me.  Please help me to understand that I can do this and fill me with you peace.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

My Victory! M2C OBS

As I said before I am doing the OBS from Proverbs 31, Made to Crave. And it has been a long time since I have done a Bible study.  I forgot just how good it feels to be talking with other people about God, and what God has done, is doing, and will do for me.  I also forgot what it feels like to be moving in the same direction and have the support that I need in order to find my way (and stay on my path).

So, I wanted to share my victory for today.  I have a monthly meeting that takes place at a super-yummy pizza parlor.  I mean, this is one of those places that I LOVE to eat at.  And once a month, I get to go there.


I am just starting down this path, and it isn't paved yet.  Lysa talks about tearing down the tower and paving our path towards victory.  Uhhhhh... what!?! I don't even think that I had the path cleared, let alone laying any bricks.

So this morning, before my eyes had barely opened, I took my phone and went to the OBS.  And before my feet hit the ground, I said a prayer... and waited in expectation.  I asked God to see me through the day.  And I was anxious for the meeting most of the day.  I'll admit it, I wasn't fully trusting God.  I mean, I did... but I didn't want to feel the deprivation from one of my favorite things (oops, this make it sound more like an idol that I would like to admit).  So, as I got in my car to go to the meeting, I said another prayer.  No sooner than I said my "Amen", the radio played Overcomer - by Mandisa.  Now, why is this such a big deal?  Well, I found the OBS from one of her Facebook posts, and it has been a theme song for the Made 2 Crave OBS.  "Got it God! Stop worrying about this.  You've got it!"  I don't think it could have been much clearer!  Until I got to the meeting and the pizza was put down less than 2 inches from my hand.  "WHAT?!?! Come on......... I thought you had this God?"  But you know what, with another quick prayer and 1 Corinthians 10:23 firmly on my mind, heart, and lips from the moment I woke today, that pizza did NOT have the same pull.

God is with us, and we only have to look at Him.  We find Him through our prayers and scriptures.

Monday, January 20, 2014

What's Really Going on Here- MTC Chapter 1

It wouldn't be me starting something new if there wasn't some kind of glitch. I have been able to read the post over on Proverbs31, but not comment. And I think it has to do with the 2000+ comments and I can't get down to the bottom of the page before my browser decides to reset back to the top. Talk about FRUSTRATING! But I also think that it goes right along with my struggle with food. I struggle because I get caught up in the wrong focus. Tonight I am focusing on not being able to comment (and maybe missing out on a prize), when I should be focused on connecting with what I was reading!

I end up focusing on food, even the good for me food (trust me, all the planning healthy dinners and snacks it consumes me more an any worldly thing should). I don't focus  what is driving me to food. What is driving me there is the fact that I was made to crave something much more powerful than food... I was made to crave God. But I am at a loss as how to make that connection that I once felt so strongly.

So while I was reading chapter 1... Again. For what feels like the zillionth time. The one thing that keeps jumping out to me is 1 Corinthians 10:23. While there is good in all, not all of it is good for me. I think of my husband that can eat anything he wants, and not put on any weight. And how jealous I am of him. But again, I am focusing on the wrong thing. There isn't anything wrong with the food, however it is wrong for ME. I do not have the physical or spiritual structure that allows me to eat just a chocolate chip cookie. I eat the whole cookie jar. The same is for bell peppers. I love bell peppers, and I can eat 3 cups at a time, and I have done it just this past week. But was it the bell peppers that I was desiring or was it something else? After reading chapter 1 I know it is something else. Someone else. It is God. And because I know my weaknesses and evil will use them against me, I need to turn to God and scripture to build up a fortress where only the amount of food I need to survive is let through the gate. I need to put my full faith in God.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Made To Crave OBS

Unfortunately, I still have not been able to blog here regularly. That's not exactly correct.  I haven't made the time. So, I am embarking in the Made To Crave OBS  from Proverbs 31. It will give me the encouragement and accountability that I need to make this happen. So, my promise is at least once a week I will be here... even it is just to stay "Hi, I'm alive and I'm still trying! "

What is Made To Crave? It addresses one of my largest difficulties, weight. But rather than just trying to fix the external things, it's takes a look at misplaced cravings.

I have never done an Online Bible Study, and I haven't had the opportunity to do a Bible study in over 20 years! I was still in college! And I miss it! I am also looking forward to finding other women to talk with and forge friendships and getting to know all of you better.

If you haven't join, will you?