Monday, January 20, 2014

What's Really Going on Here- MTC Chapter 1

It wouldn't be me starting something new if there wasn't some kind of glitch. I have been able to read the post over on Proverbs31, but not comment. And I think it has to do with the 2000+ comments and I can't get down to the bottom of the page before my browser decides to reset back to the top. Talk about FRUSTRATING! But I also think that it goes right along with my struggle with food. I struggle because I get caught up in the wrong focus. Tonight I am focusing on not being able to comment (and maybe missing out on a prize), when I should be focused on connecting with what I was reading!

I end up focusing on food, even the good for me food (trust me, all the planning healthy dinners and snacks it consumes me more an any worldly thing should). I don't focus  what is driving me to food. What is driving me there is the fact that I was made to crave something much more powerful than food... I was made to crave God. But I am at a loss as how to make that connection that I once felt so strongly.

So while I was reading chapter 1... Again. For what feels like the zillionth time. The one thing that keeps jumping out to me is 1 Corinthians 10:23. While there is good in all, not all of it is good for me. I think of my husband that can eat anything he wants, and not put on any weight. And how jealous I am of him. But again, I am focusing on the wrong thing. There isn't anything wrong with the food, however it is wrong for ME. I do not have the physical or spiritual structure that allows me to eat just a chocolate chip cookie. I eat the whole cookie jar. The same is for bell peppers. I love bell peppers, and I can eat 3 cups at a time, and I have done it just this past week. But was it the bell peppers that I was desiring or was it something else? After reading chapter 1 I know it is something else. Someone else. It is God. And because I know my weaknesses and evil will use them against me, I need to turn to God and scripture to build up a fortress where only the amount of food I need to survive is let through the gate. I need to put my full faith in God.

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