Thursday, June 13, 2013

Sometimes it's just hard to sit down and BE.

I have a list a mile long of need-to-do, and should-do, and want-to-do.... and down at the bottom, I am ashamed to say, is my walk with God.

What's a girl to do?

It's really hard to hear what God is saying when I am running in too many directions.  Just like I have forced myself to make time for me by eating right and exercising, I need to force myself to make time for God.  While these are all noble things, I need to look deep in my heart and have a stern talking with my teenage self.  I can try and convince myself that by taking better care of myself I am praising God, but let's be real, I am doing it for very selfish reasons.  I want to live longer and look better.  Neither of these reasons are rooted in God and what God wants for me.  For all I know, God wants me to be the weight I am and look the way I do.  How would I know? I don't take the time to ask Him.  And the times that I have, I would have to be honest and say that I probably didn't take the time to listen for His answer.  And if He gave me an answer I didn't like, I can assure you, my pride got in the way and I did exactly what I wanted to do.

Before I can go any further on this journey I need to be honest with myself and put God first.  I need to stop doing things for God and start being with God.  I can't be the only one with this problem?  Do you struggle with it as well?  What do you find yourself doing rather than being?

So, ready or not, here I go.  Now for me to narrow down to just one book to help me guide my way!

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