And that is where God steps in! "Fine, you need more accountability. I understand your needs and will supply them for you!" The Sunday before leaving on our road road-trip, our newsletter editor announced she had a great opportunity for herself, but needed someone to take over the newsletter. It sounded interesting to me, and I thought about it for a second, but I didn't say yes at that exact moment. I couldn't, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to keep it up once school (my full-time job) started up. But two weeks is a really long time to think. A really long time. It is also a really long time to sit quietly (some what, with two chatty tween girls in the car) and truly talk with God. And every.single.time. God kept wanting to talk about that newsletter. And I kept telling Him that he was insane. Doesn't he already know how I am crying to Him during the school year that I don't have enough time to get my job done, be a good wife, and a great mother, and that I am completely exhausted during the school year?? I promptly ignored Him. Yep, that's me. I ask for His presence, then I ignore it when I don't think that I can do what He wants. When I don't like what He has to say.
But then I was reading my poor falling apart Bible (I even bought a replacement that sits in my night stand, unused, but that is another story). I was reading one of my favorite passages when my life is becoming a little overwhelmed,"that verse about the sparrow", Matthew 6:25-34. Then I think about birds perched on those little tiny limbs. And how I am so afraid to go out on the limb that God is supporting for me. Scared to death that He will let go and it is going to snap beneath my feet. But it is always the last verse that screams for me to follow God's bidding. Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (NIV). Then to top it off, the Sunday's sermon was about having enough faith in God to take on new challenges. Well, there it was. I've been pleading with God for direction. And He lovingly provided it. Perhaps if I would just listen the first time I wouldn't have to do so much work to grow this little mustard seed of faith.
Have you ever had a time that you heard God the first time, but refused to listen because of fear? I know that there are so many other passages that talk about faith. I could really use some of them now, and why they speak to you. I'm going to need all the help I can get!